Wonderfully Made

“I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

-Psalm 139:14

I’ve heard this verse my entire life. It’s like bluegrass music to me; comforting and nostalgic. If you ever got called on in Sunday school to tell a verse this was your go-to.  It was simple. People would say, “If you’re ever feeling down about yourself go to the verse about being wonderfully made.” It’s one of those “come right out and say it” types that, not only throws in a lot of truth, but words it in a way that anyone can understand. It’s uplifting, honest, and well-known, and that is why it so loved. This verse is so good, so easy, that it can sometimes begin to lose its meaning.

I’ll admit it… I’ve been having one of those moments when I don’t feel like I quite measure up. Negativity has taken its toll on me and I’ve been hearing myself say, “I’m too ‘this’ or I’m too ‘that’ for ‘this’ or ‘this’ to work out.” Not only has “what if” become a big part of my vocabulary, but my reactions have shown me how much I have been questioning myself. We all pray for confidence through Christ, but to really live that way is tough.

My mama told me that sometimes all it takes to see yourself in a different light is to look through a bigger perspective. So let’s get up on that mountain and peer down at the world. What do you see? Now really look, and let’s be rational. By this point in our conversation I am usually embarrassed and fumbling my words. The thing is a lot of the stuff I worry about is really nothing. That irritation that has been bugging me or disappointing me or making me unsure is trivial compared to life as a whole. My life should consist of so much more than my tiny bubble. I should have a heart that sees needs, not wants. Truthfully, the secret to seeing yourself as fearfully and wonderfully made is not necessarily seeing yourself at all. It’s seeing God’s work in you. Look at all He has accomplished through you and all He will accomplish. You are much more than externally pretty. You are internally and eternally beautiful in the eyes of your Creator and all who see Him in you. And if you’re willing, He has so much planned for you. Don’t let the world and its distractions get in your way.

We all want to feel like we are pretty, and that’s normal, but we can’t let it consume us. So when those times of uncertainty come the best way to reassure yourself is to open up your Bible, read, and think about how much He must love you to write a book just for you. Wow, you must really be “wonderfully made” ;).

Life-Changing

       Sometimes no matter how hard you look, you still can't see the sadness in a person's eyes. You talk to them every day, learn about their hopes and dreams for the future. You know someone's favorite color, their favorite food, their birthday, and you think you know everything about them.You might even call them your best friend. But what can you really say about them? I was reminded of this last night when I was lying in bed and looking at Facebook. As I was catching up on all the latest news in social media world, I came upon a picture of a girl holding her Sweet 16 cake. She was smiling, and if I knew her I'm sure we would probably be good friends. But right as I was about to scroll down, I accidentally clicked on the tab that says "Continue Reading." And that's exactly what I did. As it turns out, this girl is currently missing from home. She has been struggling with both physical illness and depression, and she ran away to cope with her feelings. While I'm not going to share her name for privacy reasons, I will say that she is very missed by the people who love her. As I looked at her picture again, I saw something I didn't see before. I saw anguish, desperation, disappointment. I saw a young girl trying to keep it all together when everything in her wanted to fall apart. My first thought was to pray for her, but as I did I felt a sense of conviction. Without the context clues, I would have had no idea what the picture represented. I wouldn't have seen the sadness in her eyes, or felt the urgency of her loved ones to bring her home. I would have just ignored her and moved on about my business, mindlessly looking at things that would take away all my attention. All too often I do this in the real world. I only glance at people like I'm looking at pictures, and when I see a happy face I go off on my merry way, rarely stopping to wonder what's on the inside. Because of this, I miss out on God-given opportunities to impact the lives of others. I am fully capable of using the joy that God has placed in my heart to lift up someone who's feeling low. He has given me eyes to see others' needs and an ability to carry out their solutions. But instead of using my discernment to probe the full situation, I'm just barely scratching the surface.

     1 John 3:17 says, "But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?" This verse is talking about needs in a physical sense, such as food, shelter, and clothing. But the same is true when talking about spiritual needs. How are we to prove to a world of unbelievers that God's love abides in us when we don't seem to have the time to even ask them about their day? How can we expect them to want a personal relationship with Jesus when they think we don't want a personal relationship with them? We as Christians are God's representatives here on Earth. Unbelievers won't talk to a God whom they think doesn't exist, but they will talk to a person who's standing right in front of them. In the way that we talk and the way that we treat others, we are the mirror that reflects the image of Christ. And if they think we don't care about them, then they'll think God doesn't care about them. It's not always easy, but we must try to see the pain of others and to do something about it. We must ask God to show us what He wants us to see in the hearts of those around us. Those moments when we completely empathize with someone else's struggles can be earth-shattering. We feel the weight of their doubts and insecurities on our shoulders, and the aching heart that comes with earnestly praying for another person isn't fun or enjoyable. But it is life-changing in more ways than one. It changes our attitudes toward Christ as we think of the irrepressible agony He felt for us on the cross. It changes our view of ourselves as we put the needs of others at the forefront of our lives. And it changes the lives of others as we give them the saving hope of a future in Heaven. So let us work together to reflect the love and the light of Jesus. Let us show compassion, and friendship, and mercy, even when we don't understand it. Let us be life-changing.

Wanna Hear A Secret?

    Wanna hear a secret? People think I'm ALWAYS happy. If you know me, you probably think this doesn't sound much like a secret. You may even be one of the many people who have asked why I'm always smiling, why I'm always so excited about everything. Now most of the time when people ask me these questions, I just shrug and laugh, true to my "bubbly" personality. Then I explain that I'm not always happy, that sometimes I have days when I'm not happy at all, and I can tell that most of the time you don't believe me. "If you're not always happy, then why are you always in such a good mood?" you may be wondering. Or maybe, "Didn't I just see you humming and skipping down the hall?" Now normally, I can't completely explain my happiness in a way that makes sense. One side effect of this personality that God gave me is that--besides the fact that I talk  too fast for most people to comprehend--I can't always focus on expressing my deepest thoughts and feelings when I'm speaking to others. But here in this post, this outlet where I don't have to worry about getting distracted and losing my train of thought, I'm going to tell you everything I know about living with a positive mindset.


  
   Ok, so the first and most important thing to know is this: it is humanly impossible to be happy and positive at all times. That's right; no one can claim to always have everything together. As much as we hate to admit it, the sin and the stress of living in this broken world is going to get us down on a daily basis. We're going to be impatient, or irritated, or just downright angry with someone or something at least once a day, and chances are each one of us is going to be the thing that irritates someone else (just ask my twin sister how she feels about me sometimes!). That's because we humans have this instinct of self-entitlement that seems to rear its ugly head at the worst possible moments. Whether we realize it or not, deep down inside of us there's this little feeling that everyone owes us something, and when they don't deliver, we tend to think that it's all their fault. I honestly can't tell you how many times I've thought to myself, "This person ignoring me made me really mad," or, "These plans falling through has just ruined my day." Instead of trying to find the logical reason behind frustrating situations, I more often than not just decide to blame the first person or thing I can find. But I find that I am happiest when I strive to live with the attitude that no one owes me anything. That way, when someone does do something nice for me, I can be even more happy and pleasantly surprised.


   Before I go on, let me make it clear that as much as I try to convince myself not to be self-entitled, I often (as in multiple times a day) fall short of this goal. So my next tip will be something to do when you're already upset. (If you've read my last post, you know that I have experience in this field.) As a hormonal teenage girl, I have to say that if you ask me if I've cried on any given day, there's a 50/50 chance that the answer is yes. Lack of confidence, fear of the future, and just being a dramatic person in general pushes me to my breaking point more often than I'd like to admit. But I have a tried and true trick that always makes me feel better soon. It's really nothing ground-breaking, but I think it's something that a lot of us, myself included, tend to forget. If you're having a bad day, try to find a way to make someone else's day better. For instance, if you're doubting yourself, go out of your way to encourage a friend who is having similar feelings. The burst of happiness that comes with helping someone in need will at least temporarily chase your blues away.
 
   God gave us the ability to encourage each other so that we can build each other up and grow together in Him. Which brings me to my final point: the only way to find true happiness is to have the true joy found only in the love of Christ. James 1:2-3 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." This proves that when we have salvation, even the hard times in life are times of joy because God is strengthening us in our faith. And one day, He will bring us all Home to a place of eternal joy, where everyone will truly be "happy all the time." Can I get a "Hallelujah!"? We are children of the God who saves, and when we believe on Him we are secure in our future because nothing and no one can take away our joy! If you haven't already, ask Him into your heart right now, and you'll be given the priceless joy of the King of Kings. Go to Him, because the secret of everlasting joy is only His to share.

Stressing About Stress and Other Senior Situations

     Warning: If you came on this site to read about someone who has her life all together, then you've come to the wrong place. If you didn't know already, it's been about three months since I've posted, and since then, some things have changed. The end of summer has come and gone, and with it came Senior year. Now from what I've heard, Senior year is supposed to be the greatest time of your life: a chance to soak in the reality that the freedom of college is fast approaching while still having a blissful lack of adult responsibility. But with the pressure of applying for college, writing countless essays, and preparing for music auditions, the year is really taking a toll on my attitude. My confidence seems to have disappeared and I'm constantly doubting myself and everything around me. It's an endless cycle that goes like this: first I get really upset about something, then I get even more upset because I feel guilty for being upset when I don't have anything holding me back but myself, and then I feel better for a few days before it starts all over again. Anyone who knows me can testify that normally I'm in a pretty good mood, and that I try to see life in an upbeat perspective. But lately it's been tough, and for the past month or so my Senior experience has felt a lot less like High School Musical and more like one of Shakespeare's tragedies. I keep telling myself that this time will all be over soon, and that next year I'll be in college working to get a more clear direction in my life. But a year seems like a long time to stress, and I have to admit that I've had many days lately where I've struggled with buckling under the pressure. Today was one of those days. 


   It was all-in-all a pretty normal day, really even a good day, but when I least expected it those thoughts of the future resurfaced. I got upset, released ALL my frustrations (many of which didn't really even mean much to me), and let loose on my poor unsuspecting family about how "awful" I felt like life was going. I'm not going to go much into details, but the gist of it was that I can't decide what I want to major in, I don't know how I'm going to pick a career, I don't know if I'm good enough or if I'm ready for change, and I basically have know idea where my life is going. Now these seem like pretty normal things for a 17-year-old to be worried about, but in the moment (and in many moments lately) I felt like it was the end of the world. And now I'm sitting here on my bed "post-pity party" and I'm starting to clear up my thoughts. I'm realizing that everything will be ok, and that, despite what I may be thinking, I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  It doesn't seem like it right now (and I have no doubt the cycle will rear its ugly head again later), but I know deep down that no matter what happens, no matter what feelings of stress or worry or bitterness I may be working to overcome, my life will mean something and it will turn out better than I could ever imagine. Because I have a God who cares enough to let me go through the hard times so that I will learn to love and appreciate Him even more. I know that even though it hurts Him to see my doubts and to watch over me in my struggles, He does it anyway with outstretched arms always ready to cover me in His comfort whenever I ask Him.


   Matthew 8:26 says, "Jesus replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves,  and it was completely calm." Even though this story is about Jesus calming an actual storm, He also calms the storms of worry in our lives. Just like the disciples, I have been living like one "of little faith" lately in the way that I've been stressing about the things I can't control. But I need to drop "what if" and start saying "When God." Instead of saying "What if I can't decide on a career?", I should be saying, "I'll decide on my career when God leads me in the right direction." Because unlike me, God can see my future. He knows what choices I will have to make and what the outcome of my decisions will be. And best of all, He's on my side. He wants what's best for me, and for everyone, and if we're willing to ask then He will always give us loving comfort and sound advice. So if you're like me and you've been a little stressed out lately, slow down and remind yourself that God is always there to help you through the hard times. He loves you, and He understands that life isn't going to be easy. But if you live today for the One who can see your tomorrow, then one way or another things will start to work out. I'm writing this not just for you, but as a reminder to myself. The next time I'm having a "diva moment", I'm going to stop and ask God to rebuke the winds and waves of worry in my life. Because the waters may be rough, but I've got a God who can smooth over the roughest of seas with only a touch of His hand.  

Putting "godly" before God

                         So this is my first post. Hi, I'm Heather and this is my first time to write for a blog. Please keep that in mind as you read this :). My heart has been under pressure this week, pressure that has revealed to me some of my deepest flaws. The lesson I have learned can be stated like this: " "godly" does not come  before God."  Number one, I have been putting  finding a "godly" boy over our creator. Secondly, I have been putting perfecting "godly " music above Him.
           Ever girl wants that perfect fairytale boyfriend who offers to pray, who raises his hands in worship, who is just the total preacher boy package.  He's got all the girls swooning with his Bible talk. Now all these are great things, and gosh darn it, any boy doing so should get a pat on the back. But putting that godly boy and your feelings for him  above the God who created you out of true love is wrong.  No one will measure up to infallible. Humans make mistakes. It's called sin, something we all do. But Christ will NEVER forsake us. His feelings  for  us are eternal.
                   Worship music. My best friend and my worst enemy at times. I so often find myself wanting recognition for singing something so "holy". "I'm  such a great Christian because I sing about Jesus."  "Look at me raising my hands." "I've got wisdom to spare." Now these are just a few examples of this  haughty monster  pride.  She consumes us taking up every thought, every memory, making us slaves to her unending cycle. First comes gift, then comes pride, then comes missery that fills your life.
I heard some one say that all we really want is God but we just don't realize it. We are dis focused by our me colored glasses. But when we take the blinders off something beautiful happens. You know what that is? Peace.
I'll be honest. I want attention. I want love. But most of all I want purpose. That is exactly what He gives me.  Like no boy can do God loves me and knows everything there is to know about me, even how many hairs are on my head :).  And like no worship song can do he brings enjoyment and a humbling pride that  takes my eyes off of myself and brings them to a much prettier picture.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
                                                                      Matthew 6:33






                 

Worthy of More

   You are worthy of more. If you're reading this, then this message is for you. You are worthy of more than a man who looks at you only with lust. You are worthy of more than a passing glance, and you deserve to know how it feels to be loved for who you are instead of what you look like. And if any guy ever wants you to give up a piece of yourself for his fleeting desires, then he is NOT worthy of your time or of your heart. I know it's hard to feel like you'll never measure up to what the world says you're supposed to be. You may not have the look, or the personality, or the goals that people want you to have. You may overstep the unwritten rules of what is considered to be the "perfect girl". But you are beautiful and you are worthy of someone who looks at you not with his own eyes but with the eyes of your Creator. You may not always feel like it when you look in the mirror, but you are a priceless creation of the God of the Universe. And when He sees you, He doesn't see what you see. Because you see the flaws and the failures, the secrets and the struggles. But He sees what's really there, a beautiful testament to who He is.

       I know you may be thinking that talk is cheap, and that the actions of guys around you mean so much more than the written words of a girl you may never meet. Even though I can't see you right now, I know that you're beautiful and worthy to be loved because you're one of a kind. There isn't another you in the whole world, and if you wait long enough, you'll meet someone who sees that-- in their life-- you can never be replaced. And I know waiting for your perfect man is always going to be a struggle. It breaks my heart to know that many try to fill the void by letting others tamper with their bodies and their hearts. But I want you to know that it doesn't have to be this way. If someone gave you a gift and said it was worth all the money in the world, you would guard it with your life and keep it from all harm, right? Well, you are that gift. So even if you don't believe it, even if everything in you is fighting to give it all away, guard yourself. Guard your heart. And know that you are worthy of more. With a prayer on my heart, I share this for anyone who doesn't see the true value of who they are. Because I know too many people, myself included, who spend too much time viewing themselves as less than worthy. YOU ARE MORE.

        You Are More by Tenth Avenue North, Video by ChristWillComeAgain

Dear Future Brother-in-Law...

   This post is an early birthday gift to my twin sister Heather, and one day it will be a wedding gift to her very lucky husband...


Dear Future Brother-in-Law,

    I've been expecting you. If you're reading this, then you've been selected for the grand prize, and it's got a lifetime warranty. You are now the proud owner of my sister's heart, and soon you'll be united as man and wife. Now before you claim your prize, I figured that the person who knows her best (that would be me!) should give you a few words of wisdom. Think of it as your instruction manual for all things Heather. Feel free to use this as a reference and come back to me if you need more advice. Here we go...

   First off, let me be the first to remind you that you are without a doubt the luckiest guy on the planet right now. You're gaining an amazing wife and joining a wonderful family (not to mention you're getting the world's best sister-in-law!) You're about to have a fantastic wedding, which I'm sure Heather will make into the event of the century, and one day you'll be blessed with beautiful children. With a catch like Heather, you're pretty much set for forever (no rhyme intended), and if you're anything like me that means you have many years of constantly being cared for ahead of you. Needless to say, this is the happiest time of your life, and I know it's the happiest time of hers. She has waited for you and prayed for every aspect of your life, that you would be a hard worker, a good daddy to her children, and most importantly that you would share her passion for the Lord. (She also wanted you to love music like she does and to be easy on the eyes, which I'm sure you've got covered.) Even as I'm writing this, she loves you with all her heart,  though she sometimes wonders if you'll ever make an appearance. I don't know if she'll change any before you meet her, if the Heather I know now is different than the one you'll know in the future, but I do know for sure that no matter what, she'll be an incredible person. And if you're good enough to meet her standards, you're probably pretty incredible, too. As Heather's husband, you've landed the gig of your life (see what I did with the music pun?) She's probably written a million songs about you, and if you can carry a tune you'll definitely be singing with her. But even if you have a little stage fright it'll be well worth it to have her as your singing partner. You'll be like Troy and Gabriella (extra points with the sister-in-law if you know High School Musical!)

    As with all great prizes, there are a few precautions you'll have to take. I'm sure you know this by now, but deep inside the tiny little body of your bride-to-be is a ball of fire and passion that, if ignited, will spew like a volcano. No matter what happens, remember that the source of that passion is intense love and caring for everything she does. She's one of those rare people who wholeheartedly throws herself into the simplest of tasks, who just cares so much about every little thing that sometimes she has built-up stress that has to come out. As her husband, you are to be the spiritual leader of your family, and I have confidence that you will calm her fears and provide her with peace better than anyone but God Himself. Know that even though she can be a handful at times, the intensity of her love for you will be like nothing you've ever experienced. Never forget to tell her you love her, and hold her close to you to quiet her spirit when she feels stressed. And when you argue, never let a day go by without letting go of your anger. Because take it from me, no matter how many times she says, "I'm never talking to you again," she always gets over it in five minutes or less. Like I said before, she already loves you now, so imagine how much she will when she actually knows who you are. I can't stress this enough: you, my future friend, are an incredibly lucky man! Remember it every day of your life.

    The last thing I have to say is this: please take care of her because she's my favorite person ever and I want her to be happy more than anything else in the world. As her twin, I've prepared her for you by being a constant companion. In a way, I guess you could say I'm the "other man". Many of Heather's first Cinderella moments happened long ago in our room when we played princess and I slow danced with her as her dashing prince ("because the prince is always taller than the princess, Hope!") Yep, I've done my part over the years, mostly by testing her patience, to ensure that she is the best wife you could ever dream of (you can thank me later.) And now, she is yours and you are hers and you're both going to live happily ever after. Enjoy your grand prize and thank God for her every day. Love you like a brother (in-law!)
Your favorite sister Hope

(P.S; Keep in mind that we'll be spending a lot of time together. In other words, you hurt her, I'll hurt you :) But I'm sure we'll be the best of friends!)
 

The Day After...

    As all of you know, yesterday was Mother's Day. For a full 24 hours, people all over the country gave gifts, made food, and honored their moms for being some of the most important people in their lives. Maybe your family did something special, took your mom out for dinner or a movie. Maybe like my family you went to visit relatives and brought gifts for all the moms that were there. Maybe you even lived out every busy mother's dream and just had a relaxing day at home. Whatever you did, you did it for the all the important women in your life. But chances are, after the festivities were over things went right back to normal. And today, the day after Mother's Day, you may treat your mom like she isn't anything special. Like she just exists to do things for you and doesn't deserve to have more than one day devoted to her. Now I know you may be thinking that the person I just described isn't anything like you, that you're nowhere near that selfish. But sometimes in the things we don't say, we can make our mothers feel like they are not appreciated for the sacrifices they make every single day in order to do what's best for the people they love. 

    I have to be honest and say that a lot of the time I'm guilty of under-valuing and under-appreciating my mom in the things that I neglect to say and do for her. I get so wrapped up in my own little world that I forget to thank her for working so hard to make my life the best it can possibly be. She brought me into the world, taught me how to love others with my whole heart, gave me the tools I need to speak for myself and to defend those who need my help. She even taught me how to drive (and believe me, that was a VERY long and tiring process!) Because of her, I know that God loves me and has a plan for my life, and from following her example, I know that with His help I can have the patience to live my life with a listening heart. One day, if it's a part of God's plan (and I really hope it is), she will continue to guide me so that I can be a good wife and mama just like she is. And I'm sure if I took a poll of everyone who reads this, the majority of you would say what I've said and then some about your own mothers. Because God made our moms to be the most important and influential people in our lives. He selected them to be the ones to mold us into the people we're meant to be and created us to grow inside of them the first 9 months of our lives in order to strengthen the bond between mother and child. And even though we don't always show it in the way we treat them, we are eternally indebted to our moms for everything they've done for us and everything we've done to them. The existence of moms is living proof that we have a God who really does care for each and every person on earth. Now, remember what I said at the beginning of this post about giving gifts, making food, and doing special things for our moms on Mother's Day? Well, if you really think about it, moms are such a vital example to their kids that the special things we do for them on Mother's Day are really just the things that they do for us every day! And not only are moms good examples to their own kids, they're good examples for everyone around them! There are lots of women in my life who are not related to me by blood--from the ladies at my church, to many of my friends' moms--whom I know I can depend on, people I love who have had a positive influence on my life.

  

   When God created the role of "mother", He made a model of true love that points us to His unfailing love for us. And whether or not God gives a woman children, He calls us all to live out that role in the lives of the people around us. Take joy in the calling that God has given us as women because, in an eternal sense, it is the most important job a person can have. We are called to shape the people of the world, to nurture and care for God's children both in body and in spirit. If you're reading this and you're a new mom, realize that you've been given the ultimate responsibility, to hold your child's soul in your hands as you prepare them to one day give it to Christ on their own. If your child is grown, remember that no matter what happens they will always need your love and support. And if for some reason God has decided not to give you children for the time being, take hope in the fact that you are called to be a caregiver to all who need you and remember that God's work in you is never complete. Thank you all for the amazing things you do for God's children. Even though it can be hard, He knew that y'all were definitely the right people for the job He has given you. Happy Day After Mother's Day!

     

     

Finding Your Purpose

    It's finally May, and with that comes things to look forward to. My 17th birthday (well, ours. I'm a twin!), the beginning of summer, and, of course, the end of school. Right now, I have a lot of different things going on in my head. As usual, I'm excited for the summer to start, ready for a break in my hectic schedule. But this year is a little different. This is the summer before my senior year, and the pressure is on to finalize my plans for not only college, but the rest of my life. Now, I know I'm being a little dramatic. I don't necessarily have to be ready for everything life throws at me. But for the first time ever, I have to think about things that will significantly affect my future. And I have to be honest, it's a little scary. If you're in the same boat that I am, you get what I mean. I'm just as much a "too independent teenager" as the next person, but I'm not too sure I'm ready to be an adult just yet. I mean, I'm not the most organized person, and most of the time I'm kind of scatterbrained. Do I have what it takes to be in control of my own life? Can I stay focused on my goals and work hard to be the person God wants me to be? Some days it feels like my mind is filled with never-ending questions that my unorganized self just can't seem to sort out. And a lot of the time I end up just pushing the inevitable to the back of my mind.

    If you haven't already noticed, growing up is a hard thing to do. We leave everything that is familiar and venture off into the great unknown to pursue what God has called us to do. But what if we aren't sure what we're supposed to be in life? What if you're like me and you have a hard time narrowing down your interests into a sure and steady calling? I know it's not a bad thing to have lots of interests, but when it comes to picking a major it can make you feel lost. And what about the financial aspect? The money for college has to come from somewhere. I don't know about you, but the pressure of a new identity and a list of life-changing decisions is enough to bring this normally stress-free girl to her wit's end. In the blink of an eye, my tough choices just changed from, "What color popsicle do you want?", to, "How do you want to spend the rest of your life?" And, much to my dismay, my normal happy-go-lucky thought process just isn't going to cut it. To someone who doesn't know God, this is the end of the line. They thrive solely on the human instinct that in order to live a successful life, one must do everything on their own, making each lasting decision based on their own interests. But I'm going to be completely open here and say that I don't want to live like that. If it were up to me to make all the decisions and I had no God to help me figure it out, I would have a pretty messed up life. Because I'm not perfect. I have flaws that cloud my judgment, and for the most part I'm not mature enough to control my life. If I'm so clumsy that I can barely take a key out of a door, then surely I'm not capable of holding the key to my life's destiny. In short, in terms of controlling my future, I'm really not the person for the job. But I don't have to be.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This has always been one of my favorite verses, and not just because it has my name in it. I love the fact that it reminds me that I'm not in this alone after all. Because maybe I haven't figured it all out, but He has. He created everything, including you and me, for a reason that fits perfectly into His divine plans. He selected my major for me before He created the world, and with His help everything worthwhile will eventually fall into place. And He knows your purpose, too, because He gave it to you. He created you and said, "This is my treasured child whom I have given many gifts. No matter what happens in life, no matter how lost this child feels or how the world tries to tear down what I have made, I have an amazing plan for this special creation. And if I am welcome, I will work wonders in this new life and use it for my glory. Because my love is everlasting, and my child will never be alone or without purpose. I am here for my creation, and I will always be here. I am eternal." If you haven't already, please accept God into your life and let Him work wonders in you. He wants so desperately to save you, to guide you through your life, and to give you a purpose for His kingdom. And if you have accepted Him but you're feeling like your life has no meaning or purpose, just know that it's never too late for God to work in you. Whether you're graduating high school or your life is nearing its end, no matter where you are in your journey on this earth, God has a purpose and a plan for you. All you have to do is trust Him enough to find it.

Underestimated

   "Kids these days," people often say. "They can't seem to do anything right." Now if you just read that and were at all offended, chances are you're probably around my age. If so, then welcome to the club. And by the club, I mean the "kids these days" club, the group of crazy, hormonal savages that will one day rule this world. If you're an adult, then more than likely you've said those words as you've watched the present generation wreak havoc on everything in their path. Your parents said it about you, and their parents said it about them. I'd even be willing to bet that Adam and Eve said it about Cain and Abel (and we all know how that turned out!) At first thought, this seems completely unfair. I mean, why should we get a bad rap because we're the current group of young people? What did we do to deserve being told that we aren't as good as the people that came before us? The truth is that now more than ever teens and young adults are being underestimated by the people around us. And when we already feel like the world is out to get us, it can really have a negative effect on the way we see the people we're supposed to look up to.

    Now before I go on, let me take a minute to clear something up. While I do believe that being underestimated can cause "kids these days" to harbor resentment toward their elders, I definitely don't think that it gives us the right to disrespect them. Regardless of what happens or what is said, God calls the young people who are His children to give honor and respect to everyone we meet, especially those who are older and wiser than we are. But at the same time, He wants us to stand up for ourselves as His Followers. Now I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that our generation as a whole is not one that lives for Christ. Every day we encounter things that our parents never dreamed of being exposed to when they were our age. Even those of us who choose not to participate in those things, those of us who are all-around decent kids get lumped in with the rest. And if we are brave enough to take a stand for what we believe in, we are often misunderstood and even underestimated by our own peers. We may be thought of as spoiled, disrespectful children, and maybe we are, but in terms of feeling out of place in a world that takes pride in the hollow and meaningless, believers growing up in the year 2015 have it pretty hard. We feel safe with our closest friends and in the walls of the church, but when it comes time to "go and make disciples", we don't even know where to start.

     Sometimes being underestimated by others can in turn make us underestimate ourselves. I'll admit, when I began writing this, I was in one of those late-night pensive moods where all I saw was the bad things going on around me, and because of this I underestimated the power of my own generation, pegging us as a sorry group of wrongdoers. When looking down on ourselves as a whole, we become fearful of the future, and long to salvage all that we see as good and familiar while others retain control of the "more important" things in life. Well, unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. Someday, we will be those adults saying that "kids these days" just can't seem to figure it out. But here's the thing: we may have a reputation to precede us, but that doesn't mean we have to take it lying down. Our generation may look a little out of shape on the exterior, and it'll always be that way for the most part, but that doesn't mean it's just completely ruined all the way through. As young believers, we are the true heart of our generation whether others want to realize it or not. Because we are eternal. There will come a day when the old will pass away and our Lord will take dominion over the earth. And those of us who believe in Him will never again be underestimated. But until that day comes, remember this. We who believe are to be a light unto the world, no matter our age or our reputation. 1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." Our generation as a whole doesn't have the best reputation right now. But individual character is what is truly important because it's completely real. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm the type of person who likes to talk to lots of people of all ages. And I see in the actions of those closest to me that our generation really does have some amazing people in it. We just have to be willing to share that with others in the way we live every day. The only way to get rid of a long-standing reputation is to prove it wrong. And the more we open up to the people around us, the more they'll see that in every generation there's always going to be a few bad seeds. But there's also some good ones that grow together by the grace of God into something beautiful.

 

"She Doesn't Count"

   As someone who loves to talk and will have a conversation with anyone at any time (for better or worse),  I have often heard this phrase, as in, "Hope said she'll hang out with me, but she doesn't count! She'll talk to anybody!" I don't know about in the past, but in my generation, it seems like the friend who plays "hard to get" is the one that everybody wants. And when you're like me and you have this urge to strike up a conversation with everybody in sight-- the lady in the restroom at the mall, the cashier checking out groceries, the random older lady in the workout room at the Y (Did you know her granddaughter had a baby last month? Because I did!)-- people tend to think of you as that weird girl who will just "talk to anybody." Now don't get me wrong, when you're that person like I am, you do end up making a lot of friends. But you also drift from group to group so much that your list "acquaintances" is much longer than your list of "close friends". And in a world of cliques and strict social standards, being so different is almost impossible to ignore.

     If you haven't already guessed, my personality doesn't always go over well with a lot of people. Because, believe it or not, cliques are everywhere, even in homeschool groups, which, in case you were wondering, are not made up entirely of antisocial nerds and cult members. It seems like most places I go (thankfully I don't think this is the case at my church) there's always somebody who thinks I'm just a little too peppy for them, someone who has this look on their face like, "Why won't this girl just sit down somewhere and stop going from table to table running her mouth." And despite how I tend to ignore it and move on to somebody who doesn't seem to mind my "different" personality, the truth is that sometimes it kind of hurts. In fact, the first time I heard someone say, "She doesn't count," I was kind of caught off guard. I mean, nobody likes hearing that they're insignificant in someone's life. But then it hit me. If I respond when I feel the urge to speak to someone, then maybe God has a plan to help that person through me. Maybe my seemingly insignificant role in their life is a way to open the door so that this person can be receptive to the kindness of God or even of another person who can truly make a difference in their life. Some may call this looking too much on the "bright side" of things, but I really think that responding when I feel called is never a bad thing. I mean, even if I'm just reading into things to much, it still won't have a negative outcome. As far as I know a little compliment or a friendly conversation never killed anybody.

     In case you're still trying to piece together all my ramblings, the point of this long winded post is that when you feel God telling you to do something, you should respond even if other people don't understand you for it. Because the world is going to push you to your limit, make you feel like a waste of time and space, and try to squash every ounce of Jesus right out of you. And sometimes feeling your lowest just means that you're doing something right.

     God gives us all gifts that we can either use for Him or against Him. For example, my being able to talk to people without feeling uncomfortable or nervous. Now, I can either use it to be kind to others and to make people feel special and loved, or (and I've been guilty of this a lot I'm afraid) I can use it to be spiteful to others with harsh words and quick comebacks. No matter what your gift is--whether it be piano, painting, dancing, or soccer--whatever you do, your attitude determines whether you use it for good or for bad. And although you're going to mess up, the trick is to make a conscious effort to do good things with your gift. If you're like me and you're constantly bouncing from group to group (I prefer to call us "Parties on the Move!"), make an effort to be a good friend to everyone you come in contact with. If you're the shy type but you're great in a group of two or three close friends, try being a positive influence in their lives on a more "one-on-one scale." The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and to realize that people are the only earthly things that really matter. Because in the grand scheme of things, we ALL count. And whether you count in a good way or a bad way is up to you.

How do YOU count?

The Slow Dance

      Friday, April 10th, 2015. I'm at the annual homeschool spring formal (we're not all awkwardly living under a rock, you know!) I'm having a great time, dancing the night away, when it happens. And by it, I mean the dreaded slow dance, when the crowd parts like the Red Sea and everyone starts pairing up with their dates. Now for an almost seventeen-year-old girl who's been single for, well forever, I normally don't feel particularly concerned or jealous when my friends start talking to and eventually dating guys. But at that moment, when I looked around and saw all my single friends dancing with people and my dating friends looking so sweet and happy together, I felt like I had a blinking neon sign over my head that said "Awkward and Alone." And for that split second, I was kicking myself for being... too weird maybe? I didn't know what it was that kept people from wanting to dance with me, and I'll say, it kind of stung.

     But then I turned around and saw a girl standing in front of me. She smiled shyly and asked me to dance, and I'm sure she was asking because she'd seen me dancing with some of the girls in my group that were too young to be comfortable dancing with guys. Of course, I said yes, and we had a great time for the 3 or 4 minutes that the song was on, spinning and laughing like a couple of close friends even though we never even learned each other's names. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why is this random moment from a school dance worth writing about? Why share this for the world to see?" The reason is this: in that moment and many others for the rest of the night, I realized that God took what I thought was an awkward place in my life and used it to remind me that he really does plan each and every moment for good. He used me and my slightly nerdy, never-meets-a-stranger personality to help someone feel comfortable being dateless in a world where "single" means "flawed". All of my slow dancing with 12-year-old girls and trying to help people who are feeling uncomfortable, friends and strangers alike, is just God's way of using a quirky girl to make a difference. And not only that, but He also has a plan designed just for me. 

     Even though  right now that plan doesn't include dating,  I am completely confident that the reason is that at the moment He can use me as a "single lady" much better than He could if I had a boyfriend. God has a different plan for each one of us, and if you're like me and it seems like it's not in His plan for you to date in high school, don't feel bad. I'll admit it does get hard sometimes, but God is not playing favorites when He blesses your friend with that "perfect boyfriend". He's still preparing you and your true love so that when the time comes, you'll be ready for each other. I know that waiting for the right person can seem like an endless slow dance where you don't have a date. But when you listen to God and let Him direct your paths, He will give you someone who will still be there for you when the song ends.