Who am I?

     Who am I? Do you ask yourself that a lot? Maybe you’re like me and you don’t necessarily ask yourself that bold question directly, but rather always look for what you identify yourself with. Are you super fashionable or could you care less? Are you outspoken or shy? Do you have hobbies? Are you funny or serious? Do you have good grades? Who do you hang out with? What’s your favorite band? What’s your Instagram bio? These questions, and endless more, slap us in the face as we scramble to please the imaginary gods of ultimate coolness.

     Oh, it’s so tiring trying to please people and put our best foot forward all the time. Why do we feel we must be perfect? I bet Adam asked himself that same question when he got kicked out of the Garden of Eden. What is in us that makes us desperately long for perfection? Pride. Pride tells us that in order for others to like us we must perfectly resemble who we are trying to depict; whether that be some singer, or sports star, or some image we’ve created. We live in a world of unauthenticity. Everything is fake; everything is a show. We as a world are striving for complete satisfaction with who we are.

……..That’s a problem. We ARE NOT Perfect. That’s why we need salvation. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 We can’t reach God’s standards of perfection by our own merit. That’s why sweet Jesus was sent to wash over us with His cleansing blood. Only one free of all failure and flaws could restore our relationship with an omniscient, omnipotent, superlative God. We are white as snow, free from all fault, because of His loving sacrifice. 
     Sooooooo…… why do we still build up walls around us and endeavor for a one-dimensional image? It’s as simple as one word; acceptance.

We long for love and a warm embrace this world cannot give. No matter how perfect you may appear to the outside world, you will never be satisfied. As 1 John 2:17 says, “And this world is passing away along with its desires …” Acceptance from this world is like Bazooka bubblegum. The flavor (or feeling) is there for a short time and then it’s gone leaving you wanting more. Only Jesus can fill that void in your life permanently. The never-ending thirst of dissatisfaction can only be quenched by Christ.
“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9

     Stop running after the world and run after Christ. Rather than looking into the latest trends, look into God’s word. Instead of striving to look perfect, strive to look like Jesus. Be a faithful follower of the Father. Find who you are in JESUS and He will fill you with inexpressible joy.

- Heather Grace

Missing "Body Parts"

   God can give wake-up calls in a number of ways; through circumstances, the service of others, or even a powerful sermon and songs of praise. But today He spoke to me in the stillness of a morning at home in the company of a good book. Last night I visited my church's library with a few minutes to kill and a strong thirst for something to read. (I know, there's a good chance you probably think I sound crazy, but as they say it takes all kinds!) So I checked out a few books that were suggested by my youth pastor, and then one book just jumped out at me and I knew I wanted to read it. It was a short novel written by an author I'd read before so I knew it'd be pretty good, but I didn't realize that it would renew my heart for others and refresh my spirit to further God's kingdom.
   
   "The Gifted," by Terri Blackstock, is about three co-workers who start a Bible study group in their office. They spread the word over email, but on the first day no one else shows up. Feeling useless and defeated, they decide to read a passage anyway, but right as they start an earthquake ravages their town, destroying their office building and burying them under three stories of rubble. One is blinded, another breathes in smoke and destroys his vocal chords and lungs, and another has his legs crushed by the debris. They are eventually found and rescued, and after a night in the hospital are all miraculously healed and gifted with supernatural powers from God. The woman who was blind can see visions of the past with His eyes, the man who couldn't speak can take the knowledge of one's situation and deliver God's Words in unbelievable ways, and the man who was crippled ran where the Holy Spirit led him, never knowing where he might end up but always finding someone in need. They work together, each using their own gift, to bring many of those affected by the earthquake and other circumstances to a relationship with Christ. The town is ultimately changed forever, and revival sweeps through the wreckage and turns it into something beautiful.

  There are many great truths in this book, but the focal point of it all is the verse in Romans 12 that says, "For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many; are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Through using their miraculous gifts from God, the three co-workers learn that although they were blessed with such amazing abilities, they needed others to work with them to pick up where they left off. Upon losing their "powers" after 48 hours, they realize through the work of their church family that the real power is in what God has given everyone, and if all did their part, then they would as one body have all the gifts they could ever need.

   This book may be a work of fiction, but it represents a key concept of serving a God who is as real as it gets. We are all one body, and without each person using their own spiritual gifts, the body cannot reach its full potential. We don't all have the same gifts, but if we did then there would be missing "body parts." God can use the whispered words of encouragement of a loving friend as well as the strong and profound ones of a preacher in a pulpit, and, as valuable as a natural leader is, sometimes all He needs is someone with a desire to follow Him with all their heart. James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." Our gifts from God in their purest form, each and every one, are good and perfect gifts, and just like our God never changes, this fact will always stay the same. We must all work together, staying on mission whatever our current situation may be, because without me, without YOU, without all of us doing our part, the body of Christ will be without many vital parts. We are the body, and He is the soul. He tells us what to do, but in order to properly function we have to be willing to listen. I may struggle at times to do my part, but I pray that I will be ready. Will you?

Jesus Loves ME!

    I am an individual. And Jesus loves ME! Last night I was reminded of this, and it gave me such joy that I realized how much I'd forgotten it lately. Maybe it's because I've been busy. Or perhaps it's because I'm a twin and part of me will always think of myself as one of a unit. But when my youth pastor said this during Bible study, it struck me that I don't often think of myself in that way. I mean, I know Jesus loves me, and that He died for me. I've said all the lines of a good Christian and truly felt them in my heart. But I think sometimes the individuality of my relationship with God gets lost in translation, unable to find its way on the confusing and often harrowing path from my brain to my heart.

  Ever since I was a child, I have always had an innate desire to stand out from the crowd, to be one-of-a-kind in whatever way I could. Now, as I'm sure you could probably guess, this resulted in some very unusual and uncomfortable circumstances. But I took them in stride, knowing that they were just part of who I was, and who I had chosen to be. I was comfortable being different from other girls my age, and (with the exception of the awkward middle school years) I never doubted who I was, or why God put me here. I knew then, and I know now, that I was created to have a heart for others and a mission to show them the best in themselves, the unlocked potential I see every day that's just waiting to come out. And I think that, as much as I want to reflect to others how special they are, I often forget to turn the mirror around on myself. I have many times looked at myself and seen only negative things, and because of that I tend to shy away from introspection. I tell myself that I'm fine, that as long as everything is good and happy and wonderful on the surface, I don't have to focus on what I wish I could change about myself. A large portion of my time is spent sending out the message, "I'm confident in who I am and you should be, too," when really I don't have any answers as to why we all feel insecure sometimes. And even though I love the gift of a heart for people that God has given me, I sometimes use it as a crutch, throwing myself into my mission without ever stepping back to say, "What is good about me, as an individual?" I know you may be thinking, "How is that a problem, wanting to put other people first?" But I can't effectively do that unless I become accustomed to letting my vulnerability show so that I can "practice what I preach." Writing is a way for me to do this, a quiet place where I sort through my jumbled thoughts to say what I really mean, where I have a backspace button to undo any mistakes. But life doesn't come with a backspace button, and if I want to successfully do what God has planned for me, I have to be willing to say, "I don't like what I see, either. But you know what? I think we've both been looking in the wrong mirror."

  As I have searched for who I am, I've wanted so badly to see an individual, to know that there is something special about me, about why God wanted to spend any time on "only me." But while I've tried to get other people to see their potential, the work I've done on myself has fallen short. Because deep down, the sin in my life will always make me look at who I am through the world's eyes. Instead of the grace of a Savior, I've been looking at the rough edges of a girl who is incomplete on her own. And instead of viewing myself in the Mirror of Mercy, I've been straining for an image in broken glass. We are all our own people, one in a million, as numerous as the stars in the sky yet more valuable individually than the sum of every precious thing in the world. God calls us each by name, and even though He has countless children, He will go to the ends of the earth for just one. He wants us to accept His love, to know beyond all doubt that we are chosen to be free, to be forgiven, to be His. So yes, I am an individual, and Jesus loves ME. But as amazing as that is, it's only the beginning.

 

Finding the Good

  "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14 has always been a favorite verse of mine. I'm sure I've referenced it on this blog before, and I'm sure many people hear this verse so much that they're almost immune to it--to them it's just another overused "God quote" to bring out when you don't know what else to say. But because of 2 Timothy 3:16 ("All scripture is inspired by God...") I believe that when God lays a verse on my heart, I am called to share it regardless of how many times it's been said before. Today when this sentence popped in my mind, it came with a whole new meaning, one that isn't so rosy and sweet. Normally I turn to this verse for confidence, for a reminder that no matter what I'm doing, I will always have a purpose. That meaning definitely still applies, and I know that I will come to it again when I need it most; however, right now I'm going to share with you something that might make you think a little deeper than, "I know I'm worth it."
   
     I'm going to let you in on a little secret (well, really, to those who know me, it won't be a surprise.) I don't know what it is, but the natural tendency of my heart is to believe that there is love and light and good in all people. I know, maybe you think I'm a little naive for believing this, but because of who I am and who God made me to be, I will always be searching for that good, whether it's there or not. So I'm sure you can imagine that every time I hear of something tragic happening like the shooting in Orlando, it cuts deep. It shakes me of my security in knowing that "I can find the good in this," because at the moment I just can't. I think of lives lost, and all I can see is potential being wasted, a possible source of good for the world being extinguished. I know that the loss of these people has shattered the world for so many more, and I mourn for these strangers because of things they won't experience with the ones who were senselessly taken from them. These were their brothers and sisters, their parents and their children, their neighbors and their friends. I pray for the souls of those who were killed, that they knew their need for a Savior and acted on that need, and my heart sinks at the realization that many of those people may have entered into an eternity of separation from Christ. And then I think of the shooter. Regardless of the motive, it was not brought about by "the good" in him, and it hurts my heart as I ponder the possibility that maybe there wasn't anything but evil in there at all. I can't help but think, "Why would God create that? Where's the 'fearfully and wonderfully made' in all of this?"
 
  It's a sobering thought, to know that death is always imminent and that to some it is inflicted by the unthinkable actions of another man. There is no joy in this, no hope for a fallen world. And this is what the world is on its own, created in perfection yet willingly tossed into despair. The tragedy in Orlando was not the first of its kind, and without the intervention of God it definitely won't be the last. But there is always something wonderful in the world, something not just "good" but infallibly holy. True integrity and virtue in the hearts of others is not automatically there, and try as I might, I will not always see it. But I know that when I do, it's this little spark of joy that reminds me of my destiny of an eternity with my amazing God. And as much as I crave it, if it were everywhere, it would not be nearly as valuable to me. So when I read Psalm 139:14, I do not take it out of context by saying that because of this we must all have good in our hearts. I remember that this was a personal declaration of the psalmist David, and for it to be real in our lives it must be personal to us, too. It is a statement of faith in the Father, "your works are wonderful, I know that full well," and an acknowledgment that because of Him and Him alone, we really are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Just like we choose to sin, we can also choose joy and righteousness, and even though the sin will always be in our hearts, we don't always have to act on it. I still believe with everything I am that if there isn't goodness in everyone then there is at least potential in Christ for such, and that in God's eyes we are all sinners in need of a Savior. Even when our world crumbles, there will always be Someone we can depend on, and He is the source of all comfort and peace to those who trust in Him. Because once we find our Savior, we can stop looking. "The good" is already here.
 
   

Unimportant

Self-loving……. Self-respecting……..Confident…… Important

I don’t know about you, but when I see these words I am utterly uncomfortable. Not one of these words pops into my brain when I describe myself. “Well, I guess I’m an ok person.” It would be hypocritical of me to tell you all that I have it all together when it comes to who I am as a person. Honestly a lot of the time I don’t just love me. The truth is………. (dun, dun, duh) I don’t a lot of the time. The word that comes to mind as my feelings as of this very moment is more so something like: unimportant. Quite the opposite of our little word bank. Doesn’t that word just sting? Unimportant. One thought of that word and you’re fired up and want to cry all at the same time. It’s not fair. Why me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I really unimportant?

Ladies and gents, if you have ever felt this way then you are not alone here! Unimportantness, yes I know it’s not really a word, is just a symptom of our bigger issue; sin. When sin entered the world so did such characteristics as pride, greed, laziness, and, you know, unimpotantness. When we let sin have a peek into our hearts it throws everything out of whack. We feel worthless because that’s exactly what sin wants us to believe. The issue is not a matter of whether or not you matter; it’s a matter of where you’re focus lies. When my heart is chasing after something worldly, maybe good, but still worldly, I look for my self-worth in that thing. I find my importance in whatever has my heart. We are all that way. Maybe you are struggling as well. Maybe you find your worth in how you dress, or different relationships, or in your abilities, or in your status to the world around you. It could be a number of things. But sadly nothing will ever make us feel valued. Everything will fall short in bringing us joy and satisfaction.

But there is One who calls you loved, chosen, special, and so very important. There is One who will never leave you feeling worthless. His Name is Jesus and He loves you just as you are and He always will. He values each of us so much that He bled and died on a tree and conquered hell to save us from our sin and to have a relationship with you and me. He is the definition of true joy and love. Nothing can take you from Him and nothing can make Him love you less.

So….. what it boils down to is this: when we do not put Him first and let something or someone else have that front row seat we will feel unimportant. Real confidence is found in Jesus and what He is in us.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139:13-15

You are important.

-Heather Grace

What A Friend!

  Friend. When hearing this word, it's easy to overlook its true meaning. "Well, sure, I've got plenty of friends," you may reason. "Some are better than others. But why is it important? And 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'? What is that supposed to mean?" Maybe you think the word is demeaning, and the phrase "What a Friend..." puts Jesus in a box. "But He's so much more than a friend!" you protest. And you're right. But maybe the problem here isn't the value of the word "friend." Maybe it's our perception of that value.
                 
                                ...

 Last night, I was lying in bed, and--if you're anything like me you'll understand this--my body was ready to go to sleep, but my brain wasn't. So I started thinking about the lesson from my Acteens class in Sunday night church. Now if you don't know what Acteens is,  it's a girls Bible study class for 7th through 12th grade, and it's a really great opportunity for the girls of my youth group to gather together in God's Word. (And I may or may not be getting paid to say this!) Anyway, last night, we started a new summer Bible study about Jesus and His love for others. The passage we were studying was Matthew 22:36-40, which says, "'Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"

  I know you may be reading this right now and thinking, "Ok so we need to love God and be a friend to others. But what does this have to do with God being a friend to us?" Well, one great thing about the Bible is that everything fits together perfectly and precisely. So why is Jesus our friend? Because being a friend is an act of love and, as 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." A friend in its truest form is someone who selflessly puts the interests of another before their own. And what better way is there to show friendship than by sacrificing life itself to do what is best for others. Surely, the fact that Jesus really is a faithful companion is proven even more in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." That right there shows us beyond any doubt that we are all personal friends of the Creator of the Universe! How amazing and wonderful is our God, that He would know and love the humblest of souls who call on His name! God knows that we will never fully grasp everything He is, so He gives us a name for His mercy that everyone can understand. We all possess an innate desire to feel special and loved, to know that we mean something, and our God is the supplier of all needs. To put it in simplest terms, we want a friend, and that's exactly who He is. What a God! What a Savior! What a friend!

  

The Farmer and the Soil

     Failed plans, fears, frustrations. Sometimes I work and I work, and it seems that nothing is going my way. So I work a little harder, and success finally shows itself. I am fulfilled; everything is finally happening the way I've envisioned it and my own selfish sense of justice seems to prevail. But the joy is only temporary; the next obstacle comes and the thrill of approval goes away as quickly as it came.   Before I even realize what's happening,  I'm right back where I've started. Though it rarely fully shows itself, and there are only small hints of a change here and there, I've stopped. My heart is bitter, my mind is listless and distracted, and the fire inside me is quenched out. To the outside world, I am the same happy, confident person I've always been, but even though I can forget my frustrations for a while, they are always under the surface, waiting to catch me in my weakness. The change is gradual, but more and more, I find myself giving up the fight and saying, "What's the point?"

  There's a parable in the Bible about sowing seeds. In this story Jesus told about his impact on our lives by putting it into terms the people around him would understand. He told of a farmer who scatters seeds. Some fall to the road side and are choked out by weeds and trampled by the feet of those who travel there; they never grow and are essentially a waste. Others land in rocky soil; it looks like a good situation from the outside, and the plants quickly start to grow. But because of the rocks underneath, the roots are weak and the harvest is scarce. The rest of the seeds are planted in good rich soil, soft to the touch and healthy throughout. The soil has been prepared in advance and will bear the fruit of the farmer's labor. Now anyone who has heard this story before knows that the farmer is Jesus and the seeds are the Word of God. Jesus made himself very clear, even taking the time to explain the story again to the disciples so that all would understand the point he was trying to make. We also know that the different types of soil represent the hearers of the Word. Now I don't know about you, but every time I've heard this story, I've just assumed that I was the good soil. I've been saved for most of my life, and I've never really doubted God's existence or turned from the faith. But personal experience has lately been teaching me that all is not what is seems.

  If you are already saved, take a moment to think about the way you live each day, and how that affects your Christian walk. And don't just recall the "big sins" you're not committing. Remember every negative thought, every spiteful action, that you've committed in just the last week or so. Feeling guilty, am I right? Well, don't worry, I am too. I hate to admit it, but recently I've fallen victim to the old "what's-the-point" attitude. Certain things that I was expecting haven't really worked out in my favor lately, and from my one-dimensional point of view, my plans for the future have started to unravel just a little more than I'd been expecting at this point in my life. And even though blessings have been falling in my lap since the moment that "my plans" fell apart, I have completely ignored them and focused only on the fact that I'm having to make changes. On the surface, I've kept it together pretty well, and there is evidence of growth in my life. But underneath the soil I've moved around God's seeds and planted a few of my own. I've begrudgingly tossed in a few seeds of bitterness, disappointment, and self-entitlement, thinking I could keep them buried in my heart and let them fester a little while without really taking root. But of course, you can't plant a seed without expecting it to grow, and I've seen the seeds start to manifest themselves into some pretty ugly weeds.      Instead of the world's influence, I've been subjected to my own bad attitude, and I've found that it can  be just as bad as if someone else were trampling and throwing rocks at my good plants. And if I don't do the necessary weeding and pruning of myself by reading God's Word, then soon my garden is going to look just like all the other ones that don't have God's touch of life in them. If you're reading this and you see yourself, remember that every plot of land left to its own devices will grow wild with no one to keep it in check. The condition of your soil is the condition of your soul, and that's why you have to depend on the Farmer to pull out your  weeds and support your wilted plants. By taking instruction from God and working to better our own lives, we will become stronger and healthier in the process. Because just like no one knows more about the land than the farmer who tends it, no one knows more about us than the Father who created us.

 

Honesty Time

Honesty time ....... sometimes I feel like I'm an awful Christian. I want to be on fire for Jesus but all that seems to be there is a burnt out match. I want to give my all so why don't I? What is wrong with me? Why am I so tired? Why can't I just see the big picture? Why do stupid things crush me?

Ah the many questions I ask myself on a weekly basis.

Romans 7:15-20 says, " I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do - this I keep doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

Sin. We all have that frenemy. It tears away our desire of righteousness, it closes our ears to God's voice, and it makes big important things, in the moment, not so big a deal. I hate it, but many times I put off reading the Bible because of sinful nature.  I'll say, " I'll do it tonight, I'll get around to it." For those of you who do not know me, I am NOT a night owl so when that time comes I am way too exhausted to really understand what I'm reading. So I'll put it off again and again and just like that a weeks gone by and I haven't opened my survival guide to life once. How do I make it through the week? Thank goodness for Jesus :) I fail Him daily, no more like hourly, yet He still gives me free and unmerited favor. I am a hot mess most of the time just trying to make it and He still loves me.

 Now I'm not saying to heck with reading the Bible and trying to be a good Christian. ( Go crazzzzzzy ;) ) I'm saying that even though failure isn't inescapable, God's grace and love and a chance to start over is always available. Don't give up on a righteous life! Let your failures and mishaps redefine the way you see God's grace. Look at us then look at Him. A beautiful picture of perfect love covering brokenness. Yes, I am not a perfect Christian, but I'm loved by a perfect Savior.

- Heather Grace

Working to Worship

    I have a confession to make: I'm not always in the best mood on Sunday mornings. If you saw me at church, you'd never guess it. I'm always smiling and singing, and smiling and talking, and smiling and hugging everybody in sight. If you just walked up on the scene, you'd think, "That girl looks like she's never been in a bad mood in her life!" And yes, as someone who feeds off of the energy of music and talking and being around other people, I'll admit that I really am as happy and excited as I look when 10:00 rolls around and the sanctuary starts filling up. But if you want to see what I mean when I'm talking about being in a bad mood, just flash back to 5 hours earlier....

  It's 5 a.m., and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. My sister, ever the annoying morning person, just woke me up, and even though I'm still under the covers praying that it was just a dream and that I can sleep for another hour, I know I need to start getting ready so I can make it to church by 7:00 for band practice. I sit up, stifling a groan as my feet hit the floor, and it doesn't take long before I come to a dreadful realization: it's cold outside today. And if there's one thing I hate, it's being cold. I shuffle into the bathroom like a zombie, fighting the urge to crawl back into bed and  hide. Then I put in my contacts, hoping that being able to see will make me feel a little more alive. It doesn't. I go upstairs to eat breakfast but it's too early to eat. I try to get ready but the tile floor in the bathroom is too cold on my bare feet and it's... you guessed it, TOO EARLY. (Can you tell I'm not a morning person?) So here I am just barely making it out the door on time, communicating in unintelligible grunts like some kind of irritable cave man and showing my family the not-so-fun side of me. But somehow on the 10-minute ride to church, I start to perk up a little, and after a few minutes of playing music and laughing with everyone at band practice, I'm back to my old self.

  Now you may be thinking that the moral of the story is that even though I'm always tired and ready to get back in bed on Sunday mornings, I still go to church and for that I'm rewarded with feelings of joy. But although that may be true, I want to take it a step further. Yesterday a very talented man at my church named Brother Darryl Hamaker filled in for our pastor because he wasn't feeling well. Brother Darryl did a great job as he always does, but there was one thing he said that really stuck out to me. He said, "Worship on Sunday mornings should start long before you walk into these doors." Then he went on to say that our attitude all day long, even outside of church, is a big part of our worship. In that moment, I felt God telling me that my attitude when I wake up on Sunday mornings isn't exactly the most worshipful. Instead of welcoming the day with a smile and knowing that I'm about to feel the warmth and love of both my God and my church family, I usually spend the morning pouting and grumbling about feeling cold and tired and just plain miserable. Now I'm not saying that since I've come to this conclusion I'm going to wake up every morning running around, cleaning up the house and dancing and singing like some kind of Jesus-happy Snow White (although I'm sure my mom would definitely appreciate that!). I'm probably never going to be a morning person, and I know that God is ok with that. But that doesn't mean that I can't try a little harder to put some worship into my least favorite part of the day. Colossians 3:23 says, "And whatever you do, work heartily, as if doing it for the the Lord and not for men." Even though I'm not always very happy about waking up on Sunday mornings, I know that I'm "doing it for the Lord," and I need to "work heartily" to be in a better mood while I'm doing it. Because of every action or thought, no matter how big or small, is an act of worship. And even though I will never be a perfect worshipper, I want to be known as someone who, in every situation, gives glory to my Jesus with my whole heart.

A New Year's to remember.......

Well 2016 did not start the way we expected it would......... We rang in the new year with anxiousness, tears, and unexpected news. I have felt more emotions in one day than I have in a week. From tears of sadness to tears of thankfulness, 2016 has already made an impact on me. Much more is in store this year and in times like this it can make you scared of what is to come.
Around 11:00 o'clock last night our New Year's Eve took a turn for the worst. The youngest member of our family fell off of a toy box and broke his arm. So there we are at midnight driving frantically to get him x-rayed. As we were waiting in Children's hospital around 1:00 this morning, I slowly took a look at myself. What else was there to do? My phone battery was dying.  I don't know what it is about late night hospital visits, but they sure do make you see things differently. I have never been one to trust in untrusting times. When the storm rages I don't face it with grace, but rather with anger and confusion. But as I sat there,  the loud silence of the waiting room stinging my ears, I felt something I don't believe I have ever felt in uncertainty............... PEACE. I felt God near me, I felt him holding my sweet, baby brother's hand as he sat amidst his pain. And in that moment I saw what He's been trying to show me all along. Jesus is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the only thing that will eternally matter. When bad times come, and they will, nothing and I mean nothing will overcome the hurt and pain better than Jesus. He is our life purpose and can never be taken away from us. He is my comforter, my security, and my friend. Life consists of more that what is seen in my eyes and I know that now. Isn't it funny that the times you see Jesus the most can be times like this? I am so thankful for all the doctors and nurses who helped my brother last night and most of all I am thankful  for the greatest physician of all, my Jesus. This is a New Year's Eve I will never forget. With the bad and the good, God has blessed us. And last night was just a reminder.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” 

                                                                     -Isaiah 40:28-30

-Heather Grace