Underestimated

   "Kids these days," people often say. "They can't seem to do anything right." Now if you just read that and were at all offended, chances are you're probably around my age. If so, then welcome to the club. And by the club, I mean the "kids these days" club, the group of crazy, hormonal savages that will one day rule this world. If you're an adult, then more than likely you've said those words as you've watched the present generation wreak havoc on everything in their path. Your parents said it about you, and their parents said it about them. I'd even be willing to bet that Adam and Eve said it about Cain and Abel (and we all know how that turned out!) At first thought, this seems completely unfair. I mean, why should we get a bad rap because we're the current group of young people? What did we do to deserve being told that we aren't as good as the people that came before us? The truth is that now more than ever teens and young adults are being underestimated by the people around us. And when we already feel like the world is out to get us, it can really have a negative effect on the way we see the people we're supposed to look up to.

    Now before I go on, let me take a minute to clear something up. While I do believe that being underestimated can cause "kids these days" to harbor resentment toward their elders, I definitely don't think that it gives us the right to disrespect them. Regardless of what happens or what is said, God calls the young people who are His children to give honor and respect to everyone we meet, especially those who are older and wiser than we are. But at the same time, He wants us to stand up for ourselves as His Followers. Now I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that our generation as a whole is not one that lives for Christ. Every day we encounter things that our parents never dreamed of being exposed to when they were our age. Even those of us who choose not to participate in those things, those of us who are all-around decent kids get lumped in with the rest. And if we are brave enough to take a stand for what we believe in, we are often misunderstood and even underestimated by our own peers. We may be thought of as spoiled, disrespectful children, and maybe we are, but in terms of feeling out of place in a world that takes pride in the hollow and meaningless, believers growing up in the year 2015 have it pretty hard. We feel safe with our closest friends and in the walls of the church, but when it comes time to "go and make disciples", we don't even know where to start.

     Sometimes being underestimated by others can in turn make us underestimate ourselves. I'll admit, when I began writing this, I was in one of those late-night pensive moods where all I saw was the bad things going on around me, and because of this I underestimated the power of my own generation, pegging us as a sorry group of wrongdoers. When looking down on ourselves as a whole, we become fearful of the future, and long to salvage all that we see as good and familiar while others retain control of the "more important" things in life. Well, unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. Someday, we will be those adults saying that "kids these days" just can't seem to figure it out. But here's the thing: we may have a reputation to precede us, but that doesn't mean we have to take it lying down. Our generation may look a little out of shape on the exterior, and it'll always be that way for the most part, but that doesn't mean it's just completely ruined all the way through. As young believers, we are the true heart of our generation whether others want to realize it or not. Because we are eternal. There will come a day when the old will pass away and our Lord will take dominion over the earth. And those of us who believe in Him will never again be underestimated. But until that day comes, remember this. We who believe are to be a light unto the world, no matter our age or our reputation. 1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." Our generation as a whole doesn't have the best reputation right now. But individual character is what is truly important because it's completely real. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm the type of person who likes to talk to lots of people of all ages. And I see in the actions of those closest to me that our generation really does have some amazing people in it. We just have to be willing to share that with others in the way we live every day. The only way to get rid of a long-standing reputation is to prove it wrong. And the more we open up to the people around us, the more they'll see that in every generation there's always going to be a few bad seeds. But there's also some good ones that grow together by the grace of God into something beautiful.

 

"She Doesn't Count"

   As someone who loves to talk and will have a conversation with anyone at any time (for better or worse),  I have often heard this phrase, as in, "Hope said she'll hang out with me, but she doesn't count! She'll talk to anybody!" I don't know about in the past, but in my generation, it seems like the friend who plays "hard to get" is the one that everybody wants. And when you're like me and you have this urge to strike up a conversation with everybody in sight-- the lady in the restroom at the mall, the cashier checking out groceries, the random older lady in the workout room at the Y (Did you know her granddaughter had a baby last month? Because I did!)-- people tend to think of you as that weird girl who will just "talk to anybody." Now don't get me wrong, when you're that person like I am, you do end up making a lot of friends. But you also drift from group to group so much that your list "acquaintances" is much longer than your list of "close friends". And in a world of cliques and strict social standards, being so different is almost impossible to ignore.

     If you haven't already guessed, my personality doesn't always go over well with a lot of people. Because, believe it or not, cliques are everywhere, even in homeschool groups, which, in case you were wondering, are not made up entirely of antisocial nerds and cult members. It seems like most places I go (thankfully I don't think this is the case at my church) there's always somebody who thinks I'm just a little too peppy for them, someone who has this look on their face like, "Why won't this girl just sit down somewhere and stop going from table to table running her mouth." And despite how I tend to ignore it and move on to somebody who doesn't seem to mind my "different" personality, the truth is that sometimes it kind of hurts. In fact, the first time I heard someone say, "She doesn't count," I was kind of caught off guard. I mean, nobody likes hearing that they're insignificant in someone's life. But then it hit me. If I respond when I feel the urge to speak to someone, then maybe God has a plan to help that person through me. Maybe my seemingly insignificant role in their life is a way to open the door so that this person can be receptive to the kindness of God or even of another person who can truly make a difference in their life. Some may call this looking too much on the "bright side" of things, but I really think that responding when I feel called is never a bad thing. I mean, even if I'm just reading into things to much, it still won't have a negative outcome. As far as I know a little compliment or a friendly conversation never killed anybody.

     In case you're still trying to piece together all my ramblings, the point of this long winded post is that when you feel God telling you to do something, you should respond even if other people don't understand you for it. Because the world is going to push you to your limit, make you feel like a waste of time and space, and try to squash every ounce of Jesus right out of you. And sometimes feeling your lowest just means that you're doing something right.

     God gives us all gifts that we can either use for Him or against Him. For example, my being able to talk to people without feeling uncomfortable or nervous. Now, I can either use it to be kind to others and to make people feel special and loved, or (and I've been guilty of this a lot I'm afraid) I can use it to be spiteful to others with harsh words and quick comebacks. No matter what your gift is--whether it be piano, painting, dancing, or soccer--whatever you do, your attitude determines whether you use it for good or for bad. And although you're going to mess up, the trick is to make a conscious effort to do good things with your gift. If you're like me and you're constantly bouncing from group to group (I prefer to call us "Parties on the Move!"), make an effort to be a good friend to everyone you come in contact with. If you're the shy type but you're great in a group of two or three close friends, try being a positive influence in their lives on a more "one-on-one scale." The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and to realize that people are the only earthly things that really matter. Because in the grand scheme of things, we ALL count. And whether you count in a good way or a bad way is up to you.

How do YOU count?

The Slow Dance

      Friday, April 10th, 2015. I'm at the annual homeschool spring formal (we're not all awkwardly living under a rock, you know!) I'm having a great time, dancing the night away, when it happens. And by it, I mean the dreaded slow dance, when the crowd parts like the Red Sea and everyone starts pairing up with their dates. Now for an almost seventeen-year-old girl who's been single for, well forever, I normally don't feel particularly concerned or jealous when my friends start talking to and eventually dating guys. But at that moment, when I looked around and saw all my single friends dancing with people and my dating friends looking so sweet and happy together, I felt like I had a blinking neon sign over my head that said "Awkward and Alone." And for that split second, I was kicking myself for being... too weird maybe? I didn't know what it was that kept people from wanting to dance with me, and I'll say, it kind of stung.

     But then I turned around and saw a girl standing in front of me. She smiled shyly and asked me to dance, and I'm sure she was asking because she'd seen me dancing with some of the girls in my group that were too young to be comfortable dancing with guys. Of course, I said yes, and we had a great time for the 3 or 4 minutes that the song was on, spinning and laughing like a couple of close friends even though we never even learned each other's names. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why is this random moment from a school dance worth writing about? Why share this for the world to see?" The reason is this: in that moment and many others for the rest of the night, I realized that God took what I thought was an awkward place in my life and used it to remind me that he really does plan each and every moment for good. He used me and my slightly nerdy, never-meets-a-stranger personality to help someone feel comfortable being dateless in a world where "single" means "flawed". All of my slow dancing with 12-year-old girls and trying to help people who are feeling uncomfortable, friends and strangers alike, is just God's way of using a quirky girl to make a difference. And not only that, but He also has a plan designed just for me. 

     Even though  right now that plan doesn't include dating,  I am completely confident that the reason is that at the moment He can use me as a "single lady" much better than He could if I had a boyfriend. God has a different plan for each one of us, and if you're like me and it seems like it's not in His plan for you to date in high school, don't feel bad. I'll admit it does get hard sometimes, but God is not playing favorites when He blesses your friend with that "perfect boyfriend". He's still preparing you and your true love so that when the time comes, you'll be ready for each other. I know that waiting for the right person can seem like an endless slow dance where you don't have a date. But when you listen to God and let Him direct your paths, He will give you someone who will still be there for you when the song ends.