"She Doesn't Count"

   As someone who loves to talk and will have a conversation with anyone at any time (for better or worse),  I have often heard this phrase, as in, "Hope said she'll hang out with me, but she doesn't count! She'll talk to anybody!" I don't know about in the past, but in my generation, it seems like the friend who plays "hard to get" is the one that everybody wants. And when you're like me and you have this urge to strike up a conversation with everybody in sight-- the lady in the restroom at the mall, the cashier checking out groceries, the random older lady in the workout room at the Y (Did you know her granddaughter had a baby last month? Because I did!)-- people tend to think of you as that weird girl who will just "talk to anybody." Now don't get me wrong, when you're that person like I am, you do end up making a lot of friends. But you also drift from group to group so much that your list "acquaintances" is much longer than your list of "close friends". And in a world of cliques and strict social standards, being so different is almost impossible to ignore.

     If you haven't already guessed, my personality doesn't always go over well with a lot of people. Because, believe it or not, cliques are everywhere, even in homeschool groups, which, in case you were wondering, are not made up entirely of antisocial nerds and cult members. It seems like most places I go (thankfully I don't think this is the case at my church) there's always somebody who thinks I'm just a little too peppy for them, someone who has this look on their face like, "Why won't this girl just sit down somewhere and stop going from table to table running her mouth." And despite how I tend to ignore it and move on to somebody who doesn't seem to mind my "different" personality, the truth is that sometimes it kind of hurts. In fact, the first time I heard someone say, "She doesn't count," I was kind of caught off guard. I mean, nobody likes hearing that they're insignificant in someone's life. But then it hit me. If I respond when I feel the urge to speak to someone, then maybe God has a plan to help that person through me. Maybe my seemingly insignificant role in their life is a way to open the door so that this person can be receptive to the kindness of God or even of another person who can truly make a difference in their life. Some may call this looking too much on the "bright side" of things, but I really think that responding when I feel called is never a bad thing. I mean, even if I'm just reading into things to much, it still won't have a negative outcome. As far as I know a little compliment or a friendly conversation never killed anybody.

     In case you're still trying to piece together all my ramblings, the point of this long winded post is that when you feel God telling you to do something, you should respond even if other people don't understand you for it. Because the world is going to push you to your limit, make you feel like a waste of time and space, and try to squash every ounce of Jesus right out of you. And sometimes feeling your lowest just means that you're doing something right.

     God gives us all gifts that we can either use for Him or against Him. For example, my being able to talk to people without feeling uncomfortable or nervous. Now, I can either use it to be kind to others and to make people feel special and loved, or (and I've been guilty of this a lot I'm afraid) I can use it to be spiteful to others with harsh words and quick comebacks. No matter what your gift is--whether it be piano, painting, dancing, or soccer--whatever you do, your attitude determines whether you use it for good or for bad. And although you're going to mess up, the trick is to make a conscious effort to do good things with your gift. If you're like me and you're constantly bouncing from group to group (I prefer to call us "Parties on the Move!"), make an effort to be a good friend to everyone you come in contact with. If you're the shy type but you're great in a group of two or three close friends, try being a positive influence in their lives on a more "one-on-one scale." The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and to realize that people are the only earthly things that really matter. Because in the grand scheme of things, we ALL count. And whether you count in a good way or a bad way is up to you.

How do YOU count?