My Testimony: A Story "To Be Continued..."

     On the surface, my story is black and white. My testimony of salvation began when I was five years old, and I barely remember my life before it happened. I can't tell you the specific date fourteen years ago that I surrendered my soul to Christ, but I do know that I had seen some older kids at my church get baptized and it made me curious. I only remember fragments of the night, like feeling God tug on my heart while I was taking a shower and praying with my mom and my twin sister in bed. One might even argue that it isn't my own story at all since my sister and I were saved together with our mom helping us form the prayers from our tiny hearts. I didn't have all the answers, and I still don't, but I knew I was a sinner. I knew I was dirty and that only Jesus could take that away. That night I was saved, but it's only the beginning of the story, the tiny spark that resulted in a testimony of God’s strength in weakness.

     Talking about sharing my testimony has always made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I used to think it was because I didn’t want to mess up and miscommunicate something important, and while that is still a slight issue, I know now that the main reason is because there's always been a part of me that doesn't want to come to shed light on my own vulnerability. Some of my earliest memories are feelings of uncontrollable weakness. When I was a child, I had extreme sensitivities to loud noises and certain textures, and this caused years of pain and embarrassment. I wanted desperately to feel like a normal kid, and I felt a sense of shame that made me do things to hide my problems, like telling my elementary school teachers every year that I got hurt on the bouncy castles at PTA night because I didn't have the words to describe my sensory overload outbursts and didn't want people to think I was acting like a baby. I didn't know it then, but looking back, I know that I felt broken, like there was something wrong with me and the other kids were somehow better than I was because they didn't have the same problem that I did. Eventually God brought music into my life, and being able to feel and control sound for myself greatly diminished my sensory issues to the point that no one could even tell I ever had them. I finally felt normal and I knew that I had God to thank, but my sin nature coupled with my independent streak caused me to build up walls around myself and around my heart. I told myself and everyone else that nothing bothered me and that I didn't need anyone’s help. I felt invincible, and even though I thought I was still surrendering to God every day, I was only holding Him at arm’s length. I had promised myself that I would do everything in my power to never have to feel vulnerable again, but I was forgetting that vulnerability was the very reason I needed salvation in the first place. I was saved, but I was still surrendering in shame instead of basking in the joy of my Savior.

   2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” In my struggle to suppress my weaknesses, I was forgetting that God’s plans are made perfect in weakness. God never chooses the strongest people to show His power because then those who saw what happened would think that the power came from man. Instead he uses the opposite of what is expected; Saul the persecutor became Paul the defender of the faith, and Moses the stutterer became the voice of his people. God is using me, the little girl who felt confusion and anguish in noise, to make a joyful noise for Him. Not only that, but He has also given me a mind that can sort through the roaring chaos inside to find the words to communicate in writing what my spoken words fail to convey. I know that it's a part of His plan for me as the girl who tried to be invincible to show others that ultimate joy is found in embracing a weakness that is wrapped in the stronghold of the Father’s arms. 

   I cannot tell you the ending of my testimony, because it hasn’t happened yet. A testimony of salvation is something witnessed that can be shared as evidence for God’s grace, and every day of my life is another part of the showering of love that God has given me to share with others. Until I get to heaven, my testimony will continue to grow and change, but I pray that it will be everything it needs to be so that others will come to Christ and form testimonies of their own. Every part of my life so far fits together perfectly to demonstrate to me what God has in store for eternity, and in the good and the bad I will strive to seek His presence and feel His plans in motion. For now, by the grace of God, this story is “to be continued,” and I hope to let Him use my weaknesses in making something beautiful and eternal unfold.

Hello My Name is Fearful

     Ahhh…… trust, my absolute least favorite word in the English language. No other word has such power over me. This crippling, agonizingly painful, five letter word encompasses my heart and drains me of all my energy. Oh, trust, you really get on my nerves. You see… I don’t naturally trust. I’m one of those people who, when someone in Walmart follows you down more than one aisle, takes off in a panic with that squeaky buggy that won’t turn corners praying, “Dear Lord, protect me!” I take caution to extreme measures, always watching my back for that lurking figure in old horror movies just around the corner. The thing is, I’m not just a cautious, Negative Nellie, I’m fearful. This fear snatches away any peace that starts to rest in me and reminds me that people are fickle and forgetful and cannot be trusted. It’s a paralyzing fear that floods my soul with uncertainty and hesitancy that looks for the worst in every situation. It’s a fear that limits my ability to love like Christ. I’m not alone in this state of insecurity though. Even David, “a man after God’s own heart”, trembled at times. Psalm 23 gives us a glimpse of this:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for His name sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and staff they comfort me.

You prepare a table before my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

 and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

David’s life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. He trudged through some pretty crappy situations and met many a crossroad. Yet he starts this Psalm with the bold statement; I lack nothing. David is saying that no human addition or subtraction makes him incomplete or whole, but rather that His fullness comes from the Lord. David is saying, I lack nothing, because He is my everything.

      I like order and clean lines and the thing is, life and relationships are incredibly messy. No matter how many times I try to control my surroundings or the people around me, I can’t. People mess up and make mistakes hourly, but I can’t just write them off to protect my feelings. Rejection is inevitable, but in the Lord’s eyes I am not forgettable. Despite my performance, I am loved so deeply by the Father. Every day is just another chapter in the love story He has so intimately created between He and I.  Just because I know this doesn’t mean that I will trust like He has called me to do. Living from a place of fullness in God is an everyday sort of thing. It’s waking up and pushing down that Negative Nellie with a burst of Jesus’ reminder,

“The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” –Psalm 27:1

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” –Psalm 23:6

We are so very loved!! Living from a full heart is knowing that yesterday, today, and forever though life may change, He NEVER changes! That is how we trust. We love others so boldly and passionately that it hurts and that hurt develops into humility and that humility drives us to bow broken and bloody with the weight of our fears before the cross and say, “Father I can’t do this alone.” It’s a daily surrender, an offering of a wounded soul to one who has felt the same pain we experience. That five-letter word that makes me die a little inside every time I think about it is actually a life source, a peace giver, a joy maker, and my ticket to spreading the gospel like the one who created me. I gottta give you a chance, trust. One day at a time..

--Heather Grace

"Open My Mind, Lord"

     Sometimes I sit and think, “Will I ever be smart enough or spiritual enough to understand the Bible?” It's a pretty long book, sixty-six books in one actually, not to mention that every page has two columns of tiny print marching across the page in intimidating neatness. I'm no scholar, no theologian with my hands and mind wrapped around the original Hebrew and Greek translations. I'm easily distracted, not very consistent, and everyone who's ever met me knows that when I say “intimidating neatness” it's because (for some unfortunate reason) my mind naturally rejects organization and order. As you may be able to tell, I don't exactly sound like someone who would be able to fully internalize and respond to anything, especially something as sacred and unchangeable as God-inspired Scripture. I mean, I love Jesus and all, so isn't that enough? Don't I have every right to give up, to toss reading the Bible out on the street along with roller skating, sports, ballet dancing, and all the other mountains of hobbies I've tried and failed at? But the Bible isn't just a hobby; the Bible is the Word and the Word is Jesus. The Bible isn't a book club; the reading isn't just to prepare for a discussion every once in a while but to keep in our hearts every minute of every day. So how can I do that if I can barely make myself sit down and read it, much less take it in and let it pour over my soul? Alone I'm a hopeless case, but thankfully I'm not alone.

   Luke 24:49 says, “And then He opened their minds so that they could understand the Scriptures.” The disciples had been following Jesus a long time. They had helped perform miracles and seen Jesus do incredible things, and they joined Him in His private time, seeking to learn and know the Scriptures as He taught them. But a part of them never understood. All that time He was trying to tell them what was to come, and of the glorious work He would soon finish. But their minds were closed, and they never fully grasped His power. To save one man from blindness or leprosy is one thing, but to save an entire world from the crushing weight of their sins? Now that's a whole new level of mercy entirely. Jesus had died and risen from the dead, but at first they just couldn't believe it. They knew that He was God, but they'd seen the soldiers take Him away, and knew that there was no escaping death on the cross. But it never occurred to them that it wasn't the end because even though He’d tried to tell them all along, there was still a lot about Him that they didn't know. 

    They had seen the Jesus on the surface, but even though they were with Him constantly for all that time, they never saw the truth of what was on the inside. And if they couldn't get it seeing Him face to face, then what makes us think we can get it just by listening to a preacher on a Sunday? When it comes to reading and understanding His Word, I often fall very short, but every time I do, I feel the impact of distancing myself from those daily reminders that I am free and forgiven. I see it in my attitude, in the way I treat others, and in the way I struggle with forgiving both the people around me and myself. I know I will never be perfectly disciplined in studying the Bible; life and my forever-scattered mind will always get in the way. But every day is a new chance to read His Word, feel His touch, and run into the grip of His nail-scarred hands. All I have to say is, “Open my mind, Lord.”

Who am I?

     Who am I? Do you ask yourself that a lot? Maybe you’re like me and you don’t necessarily ask yourself that bold question directly, but rather always look for what you identify yourself with. Are you super fashionable or could you care less? Are you outspoken or shy? Do you have hobbies? Are you funny or serious? Do you have good grades? Who do you hang out with? What’s your favorite band? What’s your Instagram bio? These questions, and endless more, slap us in the face as we scramble to please the imaginary gods of ultimate coolness.

     Oh, it’s so tiring trying to please people and put our best foot forward all the time. Why do we feel we must be perfect? I bet Adam asked himself that same question when he got kicked out of the Garden of Eden. What is in us that makes us desperately long for perfection? Pride. Pride tells us that in order for others to like us we must perfectly resemble who we are trying to depict; whether that be some singer, or sports star, or some image we’ve created. We live in a world of unauthenticity. Everything is fake; everything is a show. We as a world are striving for complete satisfaction with who we are.

……..That’s a problem. We ARE NOT Perfect. That’s why we need salvation. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 We can’t reach God’s standards of perfection by our own merit. That’s why sweet Jesus was sent to wash over us with His cleansing blood. Only one free of all failure and flaws could restore our relationship with an omniscient, omnipotent, superlative God. We are white as snow, free from all fault, because of His loving sacrifice. 
     Sooooooo…… why do we still build up walls around us and endeavor for a one-dimensional image? It’s as simple as one word; acceptance.

We long for love and a warm embrace this world cannot give. No matter how perfect you may appear to the outside world, you will never be satisfied. As 1 John 2:17 says, “And this world is passing away along with its desires …” Acceptance from this world is like Bazooka bubblegum. The flavor (or feeling) is there for a short time and then it’s gone leaving you wanting more. Only Jesus can fill that void in your life permanently. The never-ending thirst of dissatisfaction can only be quenched by Christ.
“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9

     Stop running after the world and run after Christ. Rather than looking into the latest trends, look into God’s word. Instead of striving to look perfect, strive to look like Jesus. Be a faithful follower of the Father. Find who you are in JESUS and He will fill you with inexpressible joy.

- Heather Grace

Missing "Body Parts"

   God can give wake-up calls in a number of ways; through circumstances, the service of others, or even a powerful sermon and songs of praise. But today He spoke to me in the stillness of a morning at home in the company of a good book. Last night I visited my church's library with a few minutes to kill and a strong thirst for something to read. (I know, there's a good chance you probably think I sound crazy, but as they say it takes all kinds!) So I checked out a few books that were suggested by my youth pastor, and then one book just jumped out at me and I knew I wanted to read it. It was a short novel written by an author I'd read before so I knew it'd be pretty good, but I didn't realize that it would renew my heart for others and refresh my spirit to further God's kingdom.
   
   "The Gifted," by Terri Blackstock, is about three co-workers who start a Bible study group in their office. They spread the word over email, but on the first day no one else shows up. Feeling useless and defeated, they decide to read a passage anyway, but right as they start an earthquake ravages their town, destroying their office building and burying them under three stories of rubble. One is blinded, another breathes in smoke and destroys his vocal chords and lungs, and another has his legs crushed by the debris. They are eventually found and rescued, and after a night in the hospital are all miraculously healed and gifted with supernatural powers from God. The woman who was blind can see visions of the past with His eyes, the man who couldn't speak can take the knowledge of one's situation and deliver God's Words in unbelievable ways, and the man who was crippled ran where the Holy Spirit led him, never knowing where he might end up but always finding someone in need. They work together, each using their own gift, to bring many of those affected by the earthquake and other circumstances to a relationship with Christ. The town is ultimately changed forever, and revival sweeps through the wreckage and turns it into something beautiful.

  There are many great truths in this book, but the focal point of it all is the verse in Romans 12 that says, "For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many; are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Through using their miraculous gifts from God, the three co-workers learn that although they were blessed with such amazing abilities, they needed others to work with them to pick up where they left off. Upon losing their "powers" after 48 hours, they realize through the work of their church family that the real power is in what God has given everyone, and if all did their part, then they would as one body have all the gifts they could ever need.

   This book may be a work of fiction, but it represents a key concept of serving a God who is as real as it gets. We are all one body, and without each person using their own spiritual gifts, the body cannot reach its full potential. We don't all have the same gifts, but if we did then there would be missing "body parts." God can use the whispered words of encouragement of a loving friend as well as the strong and profound ones of a preacher in a pulpit, and, as valuable as a natural leader is, sometimes all He needs is someone with a desire to follow Him with all their heart. James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." Our gifts from God in their purest form, each and every one, are good and perfect gifts, and just like our God never changes, this fact will always stay the same. We must all work together, staying on mission whatever our current situation may be, because without me, without YOU, without all of us doing our part, the body of Christ will be without many vital parts. We are the body, and He is the soul. He tells us what to do, but in order to properly function we have to be willing to listen. I may struggle at times to do my part, but I pray that I will be ready. Will you?

Jesus Loves ME!

    I am an individual. And Jesus loves ME! Last night I was reminded of this, and it gave me such joy that I realized how much I'd forgotten it lately. Maybe it's because I've been busy. Or perhaps it's because I'm a twin and part of me will always think of myself as one of a unit. But when my youth pastor said this during Bible study, it struck me that I don't often think of myself in that way. I mean, I know Jesus loves me, and that He died for me. I've said all the lines of a good Christian and truly felt them in my heart. But I think sometimes the individuality of my relationship with God gets lost in translation, unable to find its way on the confusing and often harrowing path from my brain to my heart.

  Ever since I was a child, I have always had an innate desire to stand out from the crowd, to be one-of-a-kind in whatever way I could. Now, as I'm sure you could probably guess, this resulted in some very unusual and uncomfortable circumstances. But I took them in stride, knowing that they were just part of who I was, and who I had chosen to be. I was comfortable being different from other girls my age, and (with the exception of the awkward middle school years) I never doubted who I was, or why God put me here. I knew then, and I know now, that I was created to have a heart for others and a mission to show them the best in themselves, the unlocked potential I see every day that's just waiting to come out. And I think that, as much as I want to reflect to others how special they are, I often forget to turn the mirror around on myself. I have many times looked at myself and seen only negative things, and because of that I tend to shy away from introspection. I tell myself that I'm fine, that as long as everything is good and happy and wonderful on the surface, I don't have to focus on what I wish I could change about myself. A large portion of my time is spent sending out the message, "I'm confident in who I am and you should be, too," when really I don't have any answers as to why we all feel insecure sometimes. And even though I love the gift of a heart for people that God has given me, I sometimes use it as a crutch, throwing myself into my mission without ever stepping back to say, "What is good about me, as an individual?" I know you may be thinking, "How is that a problem, wanting to put other people first?" But I can't effectively do that unless I become accustomed to letting my vulnerability show so that I can "practice what I preach." Writing is a way for me to do this, a quiet place where I sort through my jumbled thoughts to say what I really mean, where I have a backspace button to undo any mistakes. But life doesn't come with a backspace button, and if I want to successfully do what God has planned for me, I have to be willing to say, "I don't like what I see, either. But you know what? I think we've both been looking in the wrong mirror."

  As I have searched for who I am, I've wanted so badly to see an individual, to know that there is something special about me, about why God wanted to spend any time on "only me." But while I've tried to get other people to see their potential, the work I've done on myself has fallen short. Because deep down, the sin in my life will always make me look at who I am through the world's eyes. Instead of the grace of a Savior, I've been looking at the rough edges of a girl who is incomplete on her own. And instead of viewing myself in the Mirror of Mercy, I've been straining for an image in broken glass. We are all our own people, one in a million, as numerous as the stars in the sky yet more valuable individually than the sum of every precious thing in the world. God calls us each by name, and even though He has countless children, He will go to the ends of the earth for just one. He wants us to accept His love, to know beyond all doubt that we are chosen to be free, to be forgiven, to be His. So yes, I am an individual, and Jesus loves ME. But as amazing as that is, it's only the beginning.

 

Finding the Good

  "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14 has always been a favorite verse of mine. I'm sure I've referenced it on this blog before, and I'm sure many people hear this verse so much that they're almost immune to it--to them it's just another overused "God quote" to bring out when you don't know what else to say. But because of 2 Timothy 3:16 ("All scripture is inspired by God...") I believe that when God lays a verse on my heart, I am called to share it regardless of how many times it's been said before. Today when this sentence popped in my mind, it came with a whole new meaning, one that isn't so rosy and sweet. Normally I turn to this verse for confidence, for a reminder that no matter what I'm doing, I will always have a purpose. That meaning definitely still applies, and I know that I will come to it again when I need it most; however, right now I'm going to share with you something that might make you think a little deeper than, "I know I'm worth it."
   
     I'm going to let you in on a little secret (well, really, to those who know me, it won't be a surprise.) I don't know what it is, but the natural tendency of my heart is to believe that there is love and light and good in all people. I know, maybe you think I'm a little naive for believing this, but because of who I am and who God made me to be, I will always be searching for that good, whether it's there or not. So I'm sure you can imagine that every time I hear of something tragic happening like the shooting in Orlando, it cuts deep. It shakes me of my security in knowing that "I can find the good in this," because at the moment I just can't. I think of lives lost, and all I can see is potential being wasted, a possible source of good for the world being extinguished. I know that the loss of these people has shattered the world for so many more, and I mourn for these strangers because of things they won't experience with the ones who were senselessly taken from them. These were their brothers and sisters, their parents and their children, their neighbors and their friends. I pray for the souls of those who were killed, that they knew their need for a Savior and acted on that need, and my heart sinks at the realization that many of those people may have entered into an eternity of separation from Christ. And then I think of the shooter. Regardless of the motive, it was not brought about by "the good" in him, and it hurts my heart as I ponder the possibility that maybe there wasn't anything but evil in there at all. I can't help but think, "Why would God create that? Where's the 'fearfully and wonderfully made' in all of this?"
 
  It's a sobering thought, to know that death is always imminent and that to some it is inflicted by the unthinkable actions of another man. There is no joy in this, no hope for a fallen world. And this is what the world is on its own, created in perfection yet willingly tossed into despair. The tragedy in Orlando was not the first of its kind, and without the intervention of God it definitely won't be the last. But there is always something wonderful in the world, something not just "good" but infallibly holy. True integrity and virtue in the hearts of others is not automatically there, and try as I might, I will not always see it. But I know that when I do, it's this little spark of joy that reminds me of my destiny of an eternity with my amazing God. And as much as I crave it, if it were everywhere, it would not be nearly as valuable to me. So when I read Psalm 139:14, I do not take it out of context by saying that because of this we must all have good in our hearts. I remember that this was a personal declaration of the psalmist David, and for it to be real in our lives it must be personal to us, too. It is a statement of faith in the Father, "your works are wonderful, I know that full well," and an acknowledgment that because of Him and Him alone, we really are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Just like we choose to sin, we can also choose joy and righteousness, and even though the sin will always be in our hearts, we don't always have to act on it. I still believe with everything I am that if there isn't goodness in everyone then there is at least potential in Christ for such, and that in God's eyes we are all sinners in need of a Savior. Even when our world crumbles, there will always be Someone we can depend on, and He is the source of all comfort and peace to those who trust in Him. Because once we find our Savior, we can stop looking. "The good" is already here.
 
   

Unimportant

Self-loving……. Self-respecting……..Confident…… Important

I don’t know about you, but when I see these words I am utterly uncomfortable. Not one of these words pops into my brain when I describe myself. “Well, I guess I’m an ok person.” It would be hypocritical of me to tell you all that I have it all together when it comes to who I am as a person. Honestly a lot of the time I don’t just love me. The truth is………. (dun, dun, duh) I don’t a lot of the time. The word that comes to mind as my feelings as of this very moment is more so something like: unimportant. Quite the opposite of our little word bank. Doesn’t that word just sting? Unimportant. One thought of that word and you’re fired up and want to cry all at the same time. It’s not fair. Why me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I really unimportant?

Ladies and gents, if you have ever felt this way then you are not alone here! Unimportantness, yes I know it’s not really a word, is just a symptom of our bigger issue; sin. When sin entered the world so did such characteristics as pride, greed, laziness, and, you know, unimpotantness. When we let sin have a peek into our hearts it throws everything out of whack. We feel worthless because that’s exactly what sin wants us to believe. The issue is not a matter of whether or not you matter; it’s a matter of where you’re focus lies. When my heart is chasing after something worldly, maybe good, but still worldly, I look for my self-worth in that thing. I find my importance in whatever has my heart. We are all that way. Maybe you are struggling as well. Maybe you find your worth in how you dress, or different relationships, or in your abilities, or in your status to the world around you. It could be a number of things. But sadly nothing will ever make us feel valued. Everything will fall short in bringing us joy and satisfaction.

But there is One who calls you loved, chosen, special, and so very important. There is One who will never leave you feeling worthless. His Name is Jesus and He loves you just as you are and He always will. He values each of us so much that He bled and died on a tree and conquered hell to save us from our sin and to have a relationship with you and me. He is the definition of true joy and love. Nothing can take you from Him and nothing can make Him love you less.

So….. what it boils down to is this: when we do not put Him first and let something or someone else have that front row seat we will feel unimportant. Real confidence is found in Jesus and what He is in us.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139:13-15

You are important.

-Heather Grace

What A Friend!

  Friend. When hearing this word, it's easy to overlook its true meaning. "Well, sure, I've got plenty of friends," you may reason. "Some are better than others. But why is it important? And 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'? What is that supposed to mean?" Maybe you think the word is demeaning, and the phrase "What a Friend..." puts Jesus in a box. "But He's so much more than a friend!" you protest. And you're right. But maybe the problem here isn't the value of the word "friend." Maybe it's our perception of that value.
                 
                                ...

 Last night, I was lying in bed, and--if you're anything like me you'll understand this--my body was ready to go to sleep, but my brain wasn't. So I started thinking about the lesson from my Acteens class in Sunday night church. Now if you don't know what Acteens is,  it's a girls Bible study class for 7th through 12th grade, and it's a really great opportunity for the girls of my youth group to gather together in God's Word. (And I may or may not be getting paid to say this!) Anyway, last night, we started a new summer Bible study about Jesus and His love for others. The passage we were studying was Matthew 22:36-40, which says, "'Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"

  I know you may be reading this right now and thinking, "Ok so we need to love God and be a friend to others. But what does this have to do with God being a friend to us?" Well, one great thing about the Bible is that everything fits together perfectly and precisely. So why is Jesus our friend? Because being a friend is an act of love and, as 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." A friend in its truest form is someone who selflessly puts the interests of another before their own. And what better way is there to show friendship than by sacrificing life itself to do what is best for others. Surely, the fact that Jesus really is a faithful companion is proven even more in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." That right there shows us beyond any doubt that we are all personal friends of the Creator of the Universe! How amazing and wonderful is our God, that He would know and love the humblest of souls who call on His name! God knows that we will never fully grasp everything He is, so He gives us a name for His mercy that everyone can understand. We all possess an innate desire to feel special and loved, to know that we mean something, and our God is the supplier of all needs. To put it in simplest terms, we want a friend, and that's exactly who He is. What a God! What a Savior! What a friend!

  

The Farmer and the Soil

     Failed plans, fears, frustrations. Sometimes I work and I work, and it seems that nothing is going my way. So I work a little harder, and success finally shows itself. I am fulfilled; everything is finally happening the way I've envisioned it and my own selfish sense of justice seems to prevail. But the joy is only temporary; the next obstacle comes and the thrill of approval goes away as quickly as it came.   Before I even realize what's happening,  I'm right back where I've started. Though it rarely fully shows itself, and there are only small hints of a change here and there, I've stopped. My heart is bitter, my mind is listless and distracted, and the fire inside me is quenched out. To the outside world, I am the same happy, confident person I've always been, but even though I can forget my frustrations for a while, they are always under the surface, waiting to catch me in my weakness. The change is gradual, but more and more, I find myself giving up the fight and saying, "What's the point?"

  There's a parable in the Bible about sowing seeds. In this story Jesus told about his impact on our lives by putting it into terms the people around him would understand. He told of a farmer who scatters seeds. Some fall to the road side and are choked out by weeds and trampled by the feet of those who travel there; they never grow and are essentially a waste. Others land in rocky soil; it looks like a good situation from the outside, and the plants quickly start to grow. But because of the rocks underneath, the roots are weak and the harvest is scarce. The rest of the seeds are planted in good rich soil, soft to the touch and healthy throughout. The soil has been prepared in advance and will bear the fruit of the farmer's labor. Now anyone who has heard this story before knows that the farmer is Jesus and the seeds are the Word of God. Jesus made himself very clear, even taking the time to explain the story again to the disciples so that all would understand the point he was trying to make. We also know that the different types of soil represent the hearers of the Word. Now I don't know about you, but every time I've heard this story, I've just assumed that I was the good soil. I've been saved for most of my life, and I've never really doubted God's existence or turned from the faith. But personal experience has lately been teaching me that all is not what is seems.

  If you are already saved, take a moment to think about the way you live each day, and how that affects your Christian walk. And don't just recall the "big sins" you're not committing. Remember every negative thought, every spiteful action, that you've committed in just the last week or so. Feeling guilty, am I right? Well, don't worry, I am too. I hate to admit it, but recently I've fallen victim to the old "what's-the-point" attitude. Certain things that I was expecting haven't really worked out in my favor lately, and from my one-dimensional point of view, my plans for the future have started to unravel just a little more than I'd been expecting at this point in my life. And even though blessings have been falling in my lap since the moment that "my plans" fell apart, I have completely ignored them and focused only on the fact that I'm having to make changes. On the surface, I've kept it together pretty well, and there is evidence of growth in my life. But underneath the soil I've moved around God's seeds and planted a few of my own. I've begrudgingly tossed in a few seeds of bitterness, disappointment, and self-entitlement, thinking I could keep them buried in my heart and let them fester a little while without really taking root. But of course, you can't plant a seed without expecting it to grow, and I've seen the seeds start to manifest themselves into some pretty ugly weeds.      Instead of the world's influence, I've been subjected to my own bad attitude, and I've found that it can  be just as bad as if someone else were trampling and throwing rocks at my good plants. And if I don't do the necessary weeding and pruning of myself by reading God's Word, then soon my garden is going to look just like all the other ones that don't have God's touch of life in them. If you're reading this and you see yourself, remember that every plot of land left to its own devices will grow wild with no one to keep it in check. The condition of your soil is the condition of your soul, and that's why you have to depend on the Farmer to pull out your  weeds and support your wilted plants. By taking instruction from God and working to better our own lives, we will become stronger and healthier in the process. Because just like no one knows more about the land than the farmer who tends it, no one knows more about us than the Father who created us.