Rejection, Pain, and the Time In-Between

     Rejection has a way of making even the happiest people sorrowful. Its poisonous flow cuts through skin and bone and in seconds it reaches the core of our chests, blocking oxygen and weighing heavy and hollow. Breathing is no longer effortless, but rather becomes as chore. Every breath is intentionally unforgiving as heartache reminds us that love is doubly edged. One side is beautiful and exciting, sparking with potential, while the other is etched with hazardous pain. What is one to do when rejection comes calling? When life is good and things are going your way, it’s easy to acknowledge God’s goodness and omniscience. But when life gives you sour lemons and you’re left bawling your eyes out choking on the seeds of insecurity and doubt, a desperate panic envelops the deepest parts of your heart and you are left in utter confusion. It’s in this pain that a crucial decision must be made. Is this heartbreaking moment going to define me or grow me? Pain is not meant to be ignored. It must be felt in order to bring healing. Pain is not the enemy, but rather reminds us who our enemy is.

     As Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

     Pain is our reminder that our true enemy is trying to bring us down until we are stuck in our broken places. To survive this pain we must look at it as a gift. Yes, I agree that sounds utterly stupid and ridiculous, but God can work good into anything, even pain. Pain is a meeting place for the Lord and His children. When we invite God into the pain, He replaces our faltering strength with His. Even as the pain begins to heal we are left with scars. Scars that are seen and felt when we least expect them. In this in-between time in which chaos is king and life isn’t glamorous, but rather looks more like under our couch with Oreo crumbs, broken tortilla chips, and unidentifiable objects mingled with lint, our pain and the memories of it must be used for good.

      How do we use this piercing feeling for good when it’s hard enough to just function normal? How do we invite God into this time? We invite His nearness with prayer. Even when words fall flat and nonexistent off our lips and empty hurt leaves us quiet, we pray. Sometimes the best thing to pray is simply a passage of scripture. No, it doesn’t take the rejection or pain away, but it helps us to heal and come out better because of it. Let His words of life fill you up with air rich and pure. Allow His mercies to wrap around you and fill up those empty holes with the tender truth that Jesus is right here with you. Through every moment and every struggle He sees, He knows, and He will be your refuge.

Psalm 91 says:

 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence.
 He will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
 You will not fear the terror of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
    nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
 You will only look with your eyes
    and see the recompense of the wicked.

 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
    the Most High, who is my refuge—
 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
    no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
 On their hands they will bear you up,
    lest you strike your foot against a stone.
 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
    the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
    I will protect him, because he knows my name.
 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble;
    I will rescue him and honor him.
 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

     We must let Him into our dark hurt of today and He will open the door wide to a much brighter tomorrow. No, the pain still doesn’t feel good and I pray that it ends today, but even if it doesn’t we are whole because of Him. Those scars are no longer seen as hurt and flaw, but rather as evidence that there is healing in God’s grace and victory because of the cross. Pain doesn’t have to define you, it can grow you. From knowing God, to seeing Him. It changes everything.

-Heather Grace